Aw climb on in there Tug, it'll be alright
Why I ever listened to anything that my cousin Danny told me to do is beyond my own comprehension. However, back when I was a young impressionable kid, his word was the law. It is a wonder that I survived childhood from all of the mental and physical abuse that my older cousin dealt out to me. But I guess that's what made me tough.
I've only told a handful of folks about this here little story that I'm about to tell. It may help explain some of the reasons I am the way I am, who knows?
It was the summer of 1975. I was still eight years old because my birthday is in August and I plainly remember that this incident was in July. It was hotter than a hoot-n-nanny outside. Danny and I were out playing in the woods that divided his parent's land and my papaw's land. It had recently rained and the wet weather spring that ran through the middle of the woods was flowing in a steady stream. We started out by just walking up the stream to feel the cool water on our feet and legs. Well that wasn't good enough. We decided we needed a homemade mudslide down the bank of the stream. We found the highest bank and began our sliding. My, what fun we were having sliding down that muddy bank! I guess we spent at least an hour sliding and running back up the bank. We finally got tired of it all and headed back to Danny's house. It was then that we realized we were absolutely covered with mud. Our parents were gonna kill us! Unfortunately, Danny had a plan...
Danny's parents were still at work and his sister was out shopping with some friends. So we entered the basement of his house. In the basement was a washer and dryer. Danny said we could just throw our clothes in the washer and have them cleaned up before anyone ever become the wiser. Sounded like a good idea to me. The only problem was, I didn't have anything to wear during the meantime. Well, good ol' Danny had that problem figured out. You see, there was this 4ft x 4ft metal cage sitting on a table in the basement. Danny decided I should probably just climb up in the cage and wait until the clothes were finished. "Gee, I don't know Danny. Maybe I should just stand back here behind something." "Aw, climb on in there, Tug. It'll be alright. Trust me." So, me in my stupidity, climbed up in the little metal cage. I had no more than climbed inside when I heard the door slam shut and the lock being locked. You should have heard Danny laughing. Oh, but wait, there's more...
So, now I'm balled up in this little metal cage trying to hide my nakedness, when all of a sudden, the basement door opens up. O.M.G. Danny's sister, Patsy, walks in. I closed my eyes, curled up as small as possible, and prayed that she wouldn't look over my way. Danny was standing over by the washing machine trying to hold his laughter in, when Patsy walked right past me in the cage. I thought the coast was clear, but then she stopped, backed up, leaned down, looked straight into the cage and into my terrified eyes. At that moment in time, I was wishing that I was dead. She turned around, looked at her brother, and said, "Danny, why is Tug naked and sitting in the cage?" Of course, he denied being the one that came up with the idea and tried to make it sound like I wanted to be in there. Luckily, Patsy made Danny let me out of the cage and told him to quit picking on me like that.
Eventually my clothes were finished and I was able to return home without my parents ever knowing what had transpired.
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