Hey Tug, catch!

When I was at the Wal-Mart the other day, I noticed a croquet set. I haven’t played that game in years. Actually, I have never really played croquet by the rules, but I have set up the wickets and knocked the balls around with the mallets. But, none of that is why I am writing this story today. You see, when I think of croquet balls, I think about an incident that happened to me when I was a kid. Read on…

The year was 1975. I was 9-years old. My older cousin, Danny, and I had been playing in the woods back behind his parent’s house. We had played most of the morning and were getting hungry, so we decided to go to his house for something to eat. Normally Danny would fix us a Peanut Butter sandwich with mayonnaise, but today he was going to fix us a hamburger! I was really looking forward to it too.

We arrived at his house and washed our hands. I went to his room and listened to the Eagles sing Witchy Woman, while he put the burgers on to cook. I thought Danny was so cool. He had his own room and a nice stereo and an electric bass guitar that he would play. He was sorta like the Greg Brady of Corryton, only cooler, and with fewer siblings. Danny hollered at me from the kitchen. “Hey Tug, come on in here.” So I went to the kitchen and he said, “let’s just go outside and wait until the burgers are ready.” We went through the sliding glass door that led from the kitchen to the backyard. Danny had went ahead of me and was about 15-yards away. I remember him saying, “hey Tug, catch!” As I turned toward him, all I saw was him bent over like a center, and hiking a red object at me from between his legs. “Whap!” It hit me square in the middle of my forehead. I went sailing backwards on the ground as pink elephants danced in front of me. I remember thinking, “Now I know how Wylie Coyote feels when one of those ACME anvils falls on his head." I later learned that it wasn't an anvil but a croquet ball… “Tug, Tug, are you okay?” I vaguely heard Danny asking. “I reckon I’m alright,” I replied. “I’m so sorry Tug, I didn’t mean to hit you in the head like that.” I lay there for a few minutes trying to regain my thought process. Danny reached down, grabbed me by the hand and yanked me up off of the ground. "Aw, you'll be alright," he said. I managed to recover enough to go back in the house and eat my hamburger. From the best I can recall, it was pretty darn good.

It wasn’t the first time that cousin Danny had beaned me in the head, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last.