Delivering souls from hell, one Holly bush at a time

"Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell." - Proverbs 23:13-14 KJV

This morning on my way to the dentist, I noticed how beautiful the Holly bush is that is growing outside of my front door. Then some old memories smacked me right upside the head and caused me to shudder, read on...

I grew up in church. My grandfather, Rev. Edd Spencer, was the founder and Pastor of North Acres Baptist church. That is where we went up until he passed away in 1972. So, my memories go all the way back to when I was 5 or 6 years old. Where I come from, we take the Bible literally. I was taught this from a very early age. The above Scripture from Proverbs doesn't beat around the bush (no pun intended). I remember as a young boy sitting on the church pew, 3rd row from the front, on the left hand side of the church. My sister, Pam, and I would sit toward the middle and my mother and Granny Spencer would sit toward the wall. Granny was the church pianist so she would sit on the end so she could slip in and out easily. My mother kept a pretty close eye on me in church, making sure I didn't act out or cause embarrassment to myself or anyone else. If I started moving around too much or talked or giggled, she would be quick to look over at me with a stern look. That was her sign that I needed to settle down. If I kept on acting up, she would make me sit between her and Granny. If I didn't behave while sitting between mom and Granny, both of them would reach over and pinch my leg REAL hard and threaten me with; "you better settle yourself down or I'll wear you out with a limb off of that holly bush!" You would think I would have learned my lesson, but, nooooo. At that point, a kick of the bench in front of me, a look behind me at somebody, or a giggling glance toward my sister meant I was really going to get it. "Okay big boy, you asked for it, let's go outside!" That's when mom would drag my little degenerate hind-end down the aisle and out the front door of the church.

I don't know if you have ever had Proverbs 23:14 enacted on your backside with a Holly bush limb, but brother let me tell you, a pair of thin polyester Sunday britches doesn't offer much protection! I can't remember how many times I received a butt blistering in the churchyard but I know it was more than once. I've always had a deep respect and silent hatred for the Holly bush ever since. The good Lord only knows why I planted one of those blasted things outside the front door of my house!

I've never had to resort to a Holly bush beating on any of my kids, but they've had their share of discipline. You won't catch any of them acting out in church! I see and hear kids and teenagers at my church talking during the service, laughing, cutting up, walking around, etc.. and it astounds me that they don't have any respect for the church and the service, especially during altar call. When I was a kid, if I had made a peep during altar call (other than praying), I would have had hell fire and brimstone rained down on me! I think some kids today could use a little old fashioned Proverbs administered through the loving limb of a Holly bush. Who knows, it might just deliver their souls from hell!