Dealing with all of the "firsts"

 It’s been 71-days since dad left this walk of life and went home to be with the Lord. We have been dealing with all of the “first” things in life since losing him; March 25^th was the first full month since he had passed. March 27^th was the first Easter we spent without him. May 4^th was the first time he was not here for his birthday (he would have turned 76). This coming Sunday will be the first Mother’s day that he won’t be accompanying my mother to Church, and the list will continue until a year has passed by.

The briefness of life really does not sink in until something like losing one of your siblings, parents, children, or spouse happens. The Book of James refers to it as a “vapor.” James 4:14: “Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.”

People keep telling me that things will get better with time. I sure pray that they do. I think of dad almost constantly. So many times I have started to call or go over to my parent’s house to get dad’s input and advice on things, only to realize that he isn’t there. When I’m preparing a sermon or a Sunday school lesson I am constantly wondering what dad would think about a certain passage of Scripture or a thought behind it.

I guess the hardest thing for me is all of the constant reminders of dad when I’m going about my normal day. Almost every morning without fail when I am getting into the shower I think of dad in his last week’s not being able to do things like take a simple shower. When I’m dressing and putting on a white t-shirt I think of my dad sitting in his recliner in a white t-shirt.  The same with drinking a cup of coffee, I can see dad holding a cup in his hand.

This morning I drove his Dodge Ram to work. How he loved that truck. I imagine on a day like today he would have headed to the lake to try and catch some Stripe fish. If I had any available vacation days left I would have turned that truck around and headed to Cherokee lake instead of the office. But, I came on in with dad on my mind and had to type out my thoughts before it overwhelmed me.