50 Ways to maim your brother

I was the middle kid in my family. I had one older sister, Pam, and one younger sister, Jennifer. When I turned 9, my parents decided to start taking foster children into our home. All together we had 17 different kids that came and went through our home in a span of about 6 years. One of those kids we decided to hang on to and adopt. That would be my little brother, Josh. He came to live with us in 1979 when he was 7 months old. My parents adopted him in 1985.

First of all you need to know that I NEVER called Josh by his real name. I nicknamed him the Wild Bohemian and I called him Boheme (prounounced Bo-heem) for short. He seemed to like the name and it stuck with him his whole childhood.

Boheme was fun to have around. My best friend, Kevin, and I used to delight in coming up with new ways to torture him. Oh, we didn't cause him any permanent damage, we just had a little fun on his behalf. I'd say if you ask Boheme today about his mistreatment's from me, he'll tell you that it helped to make him tough.

Boheme was a heavy sleeper. While he was sleeping was a great time for me and Kevin to exercise our evil plots against him. One time in particular that I can remember very clearly was the time we hung him from underneath the bunk bed while he slept. We took 3 belts, slid them underneath him and looped them around the underside of the top bunk. We then hoisted them up tight, buckling them, and left him suspended in mid air. I can't believe he didn't wake up during that time. But, he slept right through it and woke up sometime later on crying and screaming in horror, wondering what in the heck had happened while he was sleeping.

I used to dare Boheme to do things. For instance...I remember pulling a large red worm out of the wet ground and told him that he needed to try one because they were mighty tasty. It didn't take a whole lot of convincing before he reached out, took the worm and promptly shoved it into his mouth. You've never heard so much gagging, spitting, and crying in your life. I do know that he has never forgotten that little episode and he still brings it up on occasion when I see him!

There was another time when I convinced him to close his eyes and open his mouth, wherein I crammed a dandelion into his mouth. He must have spit for an hour after that trying to get all of it out of his mouth. He also fell for the old, "these green persimmons are soooooo good" trick. In fact, he fell for that one more than once.

Let's not forgot the steam roller. Any time that I found Boheme in the living room, I would come running at him as hard as I could, yelling "Steam roller!" I'd drop him to the ground with a flying body block, and roll over and over on him. He would just scream and holler like he was dying. Man, that was some fun stuff! We wrestled a lot and I tried out many a wrestling hold on him. I pretty much did to him what my cousin Danny always did to me...pure torture!

I have come nowhere near detailing all of the 50 ways to maim your brother, but, give me some time. You can be certain there will be more posts concerning ol' Boheme here in Tug's Life.