Don't you slam that door!

If Dad said it once, he said it a thousand times, "don't you slam that door!" As I have mentioned before, during my early years, we lived in a little 4-room cinder block house. It had a flat, tar-papered roof, no plumbing, and no heat or air. During the Summer months we would use a fan and open windows to cool things off. We had one of those old-timey screen doors with the big closer spring on it, that we would let the cool breezes blow through.

I remember it was a hot summer day and I had been running in and out of the house getting different things to play with. I had opened and shut the screen door at least 10 times. Well, instead of holding the handle while the door closed, I would just fling myself through the door and let it slam behind me. Dad was sitting at the kitchen table reading, and drinking a cup of coffee. I remember him telling me not to slam the door. I should have listened. Instead, I continued running in and out letting the door slam behind me. Finally, dad reached his boiling point. He jumped up and yelled so loud that dead things were coming out of their graves thinking it was the end of times. I froze in my tracks. "Get your hind-end back in here and close that door the right way," dad said. I guess I was feeling brave that day because I muttered something back to him...MISTAKE! With the expertise of a well rehearsed circus act, my dad grabbed me by the arm with one hand and commenced to wearing me out with his belt with the other. Then to add insult to injury, he said, "now go over there and open and shut that door the right way...100 times!" Let's just say that after you have opened and shut a screen door 100 times, through tears and sobbing, all the while rubbing your sore hind-end, you obtain a great appreciation for proper door etiquette. I don't reckon I've slammed a door since.

Moral of the story: Always listen to your parents and always shut a door the proper way.