Recepción al sir de Ciudad de México

I posted this on my Facebook page but some of you folks refuse to sign up on Facebook so I went ahead and posted it here on Tug's Life.

If you follow any of my blogs, then you know that I hate traveling but have to do it quite often. I've always traveled within the continental USA but this time I had to travel to Mexico City. It was a spur of the moment trip to pacify a potential customer. I normally visit customers that are having legitimate issues but this time the problem wasn't even with our equipment, it was with another company’s equipment that wasn't working on ours. So a $700.00 flight from K-town to Mexico was in order. I received the bad news last week and at that time I was supposed to fly out the very next day. The customer postponed the trip at the very last moment and I had to reschedule for this week.

So, I arrive at McGhee Tyson 2-hours before my scheduled departure time (cause I'm anal like that) got pulled aside by TSA agents and patted down and wanded. Nothing personal sir, just a routine check and you looked like an easy target... I get through that and settle in at Ruby Tuesdays for a nice big juicy bacon cheeseburger, the highlight of my entire trip. After eating I went to gate 11 to find that my flight had been delayed for an hour and they were changing the gate to 9. Problem was, I had a connecting flight in Houston that was leaving at 8:59 and we weren't gonna fly out until 7:30 from Knoxville. Panic set in. I went to the ticket agent and explained the problem. "You are in luck," he said, "looks like the flight from Houston is going to be late too so you might just make it." I doubted it VERY seriously but gave him the benefit of the doubt.

The plane finally made it to K-town at around 7:00, only 30 minutes late. I climbed aboard and settled in with a book that I bought in the airport gift shop, "The Search for the Twelve Apostles." It's pretty good btw.. We touched down in Houston and I stepped off the plane at 8:45, there was 15 minutes to run from Terminal B, through the airport, up the escalator, catch the tram, make it to Terminal E, run the length of it all the way to E19. I made it about half way thinking I was gonna have a heart attack. I had to stop several times to catch my breath and keep from passing out. Then I heard someone calling my name, "Byron Chesney? Byron Chesney?" I somehow managed to raise my arm and blurt out, "over here!" The guy on the airport golf cart came to a screeching halt and with a thick Spanish accent said, "Climb on my friend, we have to go now!" I jumped on the cart and he roared off. "Hold on my friend, if you fall off, I'm not picking you up!" I managed to grit my teeth in a grin at him. I made it to the plane door just before they closed it. They were already reading over the flight safety information. I collapsed in my seat, thanking the good Lord that I was in a row all by myself.

The flight to Mexico was pretty quick. I spent most of it filling out the mandatory custom's paperwork. I could barely see the form it was in such small writing. The smells on the international plane were a lot different than the domestic. The lady in front of me had on so much powder that it poofed up from her seat when she would move. I nearly choked to death having to ride behind her the entire trip. My throat is still bothering me and that was 2-days ago. There was also pungent smells of some kind of sausages or something. My stomach felt bad and I worried that I was gonna puke.

We finally made it to Mexico City and I had the weirdest feeling come over me when I walked toward customs and the sign said "Foreigners Enter Here," and I realized that I was a foreigner for the first time in my life. I stood in line for about 20 minutes waiting for the next available custom's agent. I was hoping to get the friendly looking female that appeared more American than Spanish, but no such luck. I ended up with the 100% Spanish guy that could barely speak any English at all and acted upset that I couldn't understand him. He finally quit harassing me and let me go through. Then I had to enter yet another custom's check where they ran my bags through an x-ray machine and then I had to press an electronic button to see if I got the green light for go or the red light for stop and be strip searched. Luckily I got the green light.

My co-worker here in Mexico City was kind enough to pick me up at the airport. We got into his very small Ford Focus and he tore off like he had robbed a bank or something. We hit 3-lane wide city traffic at 130 KM/h. For all you US citizens, that equals about 81-MPH. He was weaving in and out of traffic, coming only inches from the back bumpers of cars. I was gripping the side door handle with all of my might and praying that God would keep us safe. He got lost in his own city and after about an hour made it to my hotel.

I normally stay in Marriott brand hotels because I'm an Elite member. Upon my host’s recommendations, I stayed at the Holiday Inn Express. BAD, BAD, BAD choice! It took me 4-hours before I figured out how to turn the bathroom light on. I've always heard to not drink the water so I was glad to see two bottled waters in my room, which I drank within the first hour that I was there. I could not sleep the first night. It was around 3:00 AM when I finally dozed off and then I sprang wide awake at 5:30 AM. I spend the entire day in a 10x10 room with 5 Mexican folks. Only my co-worker could speak English. It was in a 4-story glass building which obviously doesn't have air conditioning. I felt like I was cooking from the inside out all day long. I had to suffer through 11-hours of this misery. Only breaking for an hour to eat lunch.

I finally got back to my hotel room tonight around 7:30 PM. I asked the front desk how to get on the Internet. He wrote down a user name and password for me and believe it or not it worked! Then I got online to check in for my flight for tomorrow and it says that there is no such reservation. Even though I have the reservation printed out right here in front of me. Even though it was plainly there just yesterday when I checked in for my first flight. I tried calling Continental but for some reason I can't call their 800 number from my Blackberry even though I have international roaming. I think I accidentally chose "automated check in" the other day when I was doing my first check in and for some reason it won't let me view it online anymore. I guess I'll get it straightened out tomorrow at the airport.... if I make it.

So, there is my trip thus far. I'll add more as this saga continues...

After I wrote the above, I tried going to sleep. I tossed and turned all night. You know those Holiday Inn Express commercials that try to make you believe if you stay in one that you are the most relaxed person on earth? BIG LIE!!! That was one of the worst hotels I've ever stayed in. The only one that was worse was the Super-8 in Memphis, TN, but that's another story for another day.

I got up at 6:30 AM even though I wasn't supposed to leave the hotel until 8:30. I passed the time away watching old re-runs of Melrose Place in Spanish. (Heather Locklear must be the worst actress on earth, even in Spanish she was lame). So finally around 8:00 I went downstairs and checked out and they whistled for a cab for me. I climbed in the backseat of a '93 Nissan Tsuru (Sentra) and told the driver "Airport, terminal 2" he looked all puzzled at me and said something in Spanish. I repeated, "Terminal 2." He nodded his head and we took off. It was 40 minutes of tense excitement. Weaving in and out of 3 and 4 lane traffic, cutting people off, barrelling through crowded intersections with no lights or stop signs. I was praying very hard the entire trip. We finally got to the airport and I asked "how much?" This, he understood. He gave me a figure that I didn't understand. I pulled out two U.S. 20 dollar bills and held them up. He looked perplexed and reached for his change bag. I was obviously giving him too much money. I told him, "no, you keep, you keep." At this his face lit up in a big smile and he repeated over and over, "Gracias, Gracias!!!" I must have made him the richest cabbie in Mexico.

So I get in the airport and try to follow the signs. I thought it was supposed to be an "international" airport, why on earth was everything in Spanish? I finally found the familiar Continental Air sign and made my way toward it. I tried checking in at the kiosk and it said, "reservation not found, please see a Continental ticket agent." Great... I tell a ticket agent that I need help. They ask to see my reservation, I hand over my printed confirmation page. He typed something in his computer and looked at me and said, "no reservation." I said, "I know, that's why I asked you for help." He punched around on the keyboard for about 5-minutes, shaking his head, sighing, etc... finally he said, "you prefer window or aisle?" "Window," I said. He printed out my boarding passes and sent me on my way.

Then, I stand in the middle of the airport puzzled at where to go next. I see a sign that said "Immigration." So, I walk in the room and an armed guard stops me and says, "you go! you go!" I looked puzzled at him, pull out my passport and he repeats, "you go! you go!" So, I turned around and walked out. I stood there looking confused and the guard walked out of the room and pointed at me and said, "you go! you go!" and pointed toward another armed female custom's agent. I walked up to her and she said something in Spanish and I said, "no speak Espanol." She smiled and said, "Passport?" I pulled out my passport and handed it to her. She smiled and waved me through. Then I'm in the inspection section where I have to put my bags through the x-ray machine and walk through the metal detector. That went without any problems and I was waved through.

I made my way to Gate 53 where I was supposed to fly out from. I still had 2-hours before boarding. I went to Chilis and ordered a Big Mouth Cheeseburger and fries. It wasn't very good. Then I went to a gift shop and bought the family some Mexican souvenirs. I don't know how much it cost, I just put it on my Visa card. It looked to be over a thousand dollars but it was in Peso's so who knows? Elizabeth loves the authentic handmade Mexican doll I bought for her. She hasn't parted with it since I gave it to her last night. (see photo below)

Finally it came time to board the plane. Little did I know there was yet another inspection. They took my boarding pass and then went through all of my carry on baggage. Finally I made it to the plane. It was a 737 and it was completely full. I had a great seat on an exit row beside a little old lady. The flight to Houston was over before I knew it and I was so happy to be back on U.S. soil. But, first I had to go through all of the customs and x-ray routine again. So, an hour later I'm at my gate when people that actually spoke English. I felt like the happiest man on earth at that moment. I had another hour to kill so I bought a diet coke and a big Snicker's bar, ate that and waited. We were finally able to board and I had the perfect seat in my favorite kind of aircraft, Embraer ERJ145. The flight home went by quickly. I read my Bible and typed out my next sermon on my computer. It was so nice to get back to K-town (except the COLD weather!).

So, now I'm home with my loving family (except my oldest daughter who is in Pigeon Forge with some friends) and enjoying being home. I wish I never had to go on another business trip again but I know I'll have to.

If you read everything above, you are either a close family member or very bored. Hope you have a good day. Don't forget to thank God for allowing you to live in the U.S.A., it really is the greatest country on earth.