No regrets

This past New Year's eve, our church had a watch night service, where 4-different preachers preached. One of the preachers that night was my brother-in-law, Jon White. He brought a message that I will never forget. His theme was, "No Retreat, No Reserve, No Regrets." You can listen to the sermon online here: LINK. That message has stuck with me ever since hearing it. Especially the "no regrets" part. Yesterday was my ultimate "no regrets" moments. Read on...

As I mentioned on my music blog, we lost a very dear member of our church and choir, Mrs. Dockery. She was one of those special people that make you feel blessed to have known them. I had only known her for about 3-years, but had heard of her most of my life. She was friends with the mother of my best friend, Kevin. I also knew her grandson, Paul. His parents lived just down the street from my parent's and we rode the same school bus and also played some backyard football together on occasions. I hadn't seen him since high school.

My wife and I had made plans weeks ago to celebrate our 24th wedding anniversary, by spending the night in Pigeon Forge and then going to the SGM FanFair to see my favorite gospel group, the Kingsmen. We had spent over a hundred dollars on tickets and I even took the day off from work to do this. Well, the day before we were to leave for our trip, we received word that Mrs. Dockery had passed away. We later found out that they would be holding her funeral on the same night and at the same time as the SGM concert. As soon as I heard the news, I knew within my heart that there was no way I would miss Mrs. Dockery's funeral service even though it would mean that I would not be going to the concert. It wasn't about the peer pressure from fellow church members, or even the worry about what it would look like if I didn't show at the funeral. It was just a matter of doing what I know is right.

In my lifetime, I've missed a few funerals that I know I should have attended. I have regretted each and every one that I have ever missed. There was no way in the world I was going to live with the regret of not being at Mrs. Dockery's service. No, she would never have known. No, probably no one would have blamed me for missing. So, why am I writing this in a blog post? I'm glad you asked...

When Mary and I arrived at Mrs. Dockery's funeral service, there were several people already there. We talked with a few former church members and made some small talk and then walked up to the casket where the immediate family was standing. I greeted Mrs. Dockery's only son, Charles, and his wife, Janice. I gave Charles my name and told him that I was the choir director at the church. He grabbed my arm and said, "oh, she talked about you all the time. She just loved you and loved to sing in your choir." It was then that Mrs. Dockery's grandson, Paul, walked up and greeted me. In his hands was on of our Easter Cantata books. He held the book up to me and said, "they found this beside her, she must have been going over the music before she passed. She would want you to have it." He opened the book and there written across the inside front cover was Mrs. Dockery's name. He handed the book to me. I felt like he was handing me a million dollars. It was all I could do not to just sit down in the floor and bawl like a baby. I gritted my teeth and mumbled something that I can't remember, all while trying to hold my tears back (I was not successful.)

I stood for a couple of moments in front of the casket just staring at this beautiful little God-fearing lady. I knew she was at peace and probably singing and shouting all over the streets of Heaven, but I couldn't help but selfishly miss her and wish she was still with us. I clutched her choir book in my hands and reluctantly moved on past to allow other visitors their brief moment with her.

The funeral service later that evening was beautiful and very touching. My cousin, Brad, and the ladies he used to sing with, Charlotte, Mary-Alice, and Jackie, sang 3 beautiful songs. Linda Long also sang a very touching and beautiful hymn. I thought it was the best I had ever heard her sing. The preacher, Lee Chorn, did an outstanding job delivering the message. I believe Mrs. Dockery would have approved of the whole service. As I sat there on the hard pew of the chapel, I prayed that God would comfort Mrs. Dockery's family and friends. Holding tight to that choir book, I knew I would never have any regrets over this night.

Remember, always do what is right, even if it goes against the grain or what is popular. Don't give in to self-centeredness. There is more to life than just you.